In A Padded Room
by Shiore-Hikaru
Summary: Batman has been captured by some of his deadliest villains and locked away in Arkham Asylum where anyone around is helpless to aid him. As if it wasn't bad enough he has been bound in a cell he's stuck with the worst of his rogues gallery. Can he and the Joker find common ground or understanding in order to escape? Or will Gotham's criminals finally be rid of the bat and the clown?


Batman awoke to find that he didn't have use of his arms. He was strapped down to a table being wheeled through Arkham. His legs were also tied down but he was able to look around and see his captors. Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow were pushing him along the asylum and into what seemed like the rec room. He saw all the staff merely minding their own business and idly doing trivial tasks. When he called out to Dr. Leland she paid him no mind, her face an absent blank stare.

"I wouldn't waste your breath. Jervis has done a wonderful job of subduing the staff with mind control," the Scarecrow smirked underneath his mask. Crane was right; Batman saw bands around the doctor's heads that firmly held the cards in place.

"Whatever is going on you need to put a stop to it, now," Batman warned.

"You're in no position to be ordering us around Batman," responded Poison Ivy with an amused expression.

As soon as they wheeled him to the center of the room he noticed that the two rogues were not working alone. In the room stood: the Mad Hatter, Two Face, and the Riddler; along with Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow he was practically surrounded by his whole rogues gallery. There was another man beside him wearing a gray patient's uniform. The man was on his knees in a strait jacket and a sack over his head.

"Finally, we can start things now that the guest of honor is here," said Two Face in a gruff voice as he was continuously flipping his coin.

"Oh yes, wouldn't want to be late for this important date!" exclaimed Mad Hatter.

"How idiotic of you detective to fall for our trap, but then again I brilliantly master minded it," smirked the Riddler.

"We all had a hand in this Nigma," snapped Scarecrow.

"Well enough of this pillow talk, I want to skip directly to the climax," said Ivy in a seductive voice as she rested her hand against Batman's chest.

"Oh come on Pammie even I thought that was lame!" laughed the inmate on the ground. His falsetto could be recognized anywhere by the bat.

"Might as well take it off since he knows it's us," sighed Crane as he pulled off the sack to reveal the Joker.

The Joker was smiling his infamous red smile but in this moment it held a hint of annoyance. "Really guys, I thought we were one big happy family here. It's bad enough that I was already in this dump to begin with but now that you've taken it over you won't even let me leave!"

"Quiet clown, it's about time we dealt with you and the bat!" shouted Two Face.

"Oh Harvey, if only you were _half_ the man you make yourself to be," chuckled the clown

"Say that to my face!" The ex-district attorney walked up to the Joker and stared daggers into the gleeful jester.

"Which one?" he chuckled with a broad smile.

Two Face was about to strike the Joker when the Mad Hatter spoke up. "Control your temper Harvey that's just what the merry fool wants. "The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings"."

"Meaning?" Two Face questioned looking just as annoyed as when the Joker insulted him.

"Meaning, that we should focus on the task at hand," spoke Crane.

"Quite, since it was my brilliance that lured the bat out here then I should have the honor of killing him," interjected Riddler.

"In your dreams Nigma! I say we let ladies go first, and since I'm the only one here…"

"Yeah right, the way I see it you ain't no lady. The coin will decide their fate…"

"If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later," muttered Jervis to himself.

"What the hell does that mean?!" screamed Harvey having heard that.

"It means that your coin will be your undoing and I for one agree with Jervis, I say I should be in charge since I am the more sensible one here!" Crane cut it.

"Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"Enough with the gibberish Hatty no one here understands you anyway! You're all forgetting one little thing!" laughed the Joker.

In that moment they all ceased their arguing and turned to the Clown Prince of Crime. "I got a riddle for ya, what's red and black and gonna be here to kick all your asses for this little stunt?"

"Harley," answered Riddler blankly.

"Ooooo you are smart Eddie!"

"She's not really coming for you," retorted Crane

"Well you don't know that. Let's just say the little minx is scheduled to come in any moment to bust me outta this joint. Hell the kiddo could already be on the premises, lurking about and plotting how to beat every single one of you for trying to pull a joke on old Uncle J."

"If Harley finds us like this she'll flip and bash our skulls in," commented Ivy as she looked over her head toward the windows.

"She can't be that bad it's five against one," scoffed Two Face.

"Then again her obsession for the clown is very strong. I've seen her tear through a whole group," added Riddler.

"Fine we'll search the grounds, Jervis and I will search the southern wing, and you two search the north. Edward, you take them both to a cell and find something appropriate for the bat to wear. After all he is in an insane asylum," said Crane.

"Why do I have to do everything?" demanded Riddler.

"You should be happy, it was your plan after all," said Ivy her voice heavy with sarcasm as she and Two Face left.

Once Riddler was alone with the prisoners he pulled out a rag and chloroform from his person.

"You won't get away with this you're all going down," the knight finally spoke as he struggled against the restraints.

"Good one detective, I expected the jokes to be coming from the Joker," replied the Riddler with a smug grin as he pressed the rag over the bat's nose and mouth.


End file.
